Bird by Bird

One of the most profound quotes I've ever read on anxiety (not directly but indirectly related) was from a book about writing. Anne Lamont's book "Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life" is one of those game-changers for me. Her story about her brother's procrastination on a school project, and her father's patient and supportive response to him and his dilemma is one of those things that has stuck with me for years.

I've always thought that mantras weren't really my thing, but the more I think about it the more I realize that song lyrics and quotes from books are the mantras that I repeat in my head when my own thoughts won't slow down. And Anne Lamont's words "bird by bird" is just one of those mantras. In case you've never read her profound words, here is small slice of her book:

“Thirty years ago my older brother, who was ten years old at the time, was trying to get a report written on birds that he'd had three months to write, which was due the next day. We were out at our family cabin in Bolinas, and he was at the kitchen table close to tears, surrounded by binder paper and pencils and unopened books about birds, immobilized by the hugeness of the task ahead. Then my father sat down beside him put his arm around my brother's shoulder, and said, "Bird by bird, buddy. Just take it bird by bird.””

Photo by: Luizclas

I never completed a bird book in my childhood. Though the bird-obsessed, nature lover in me totally geeks out at the thought. But I did have a leaf book. 

Our assignment was to go out into the woods and find leaves for a list of native trees. We were then to press the leaves into a binder and identify each one. I don't remember what grade I was in, but I think it might have been third or fourth. Third and fourth grades proved to be quite challenging for me, but I loved that leaf book, and I remember how much I adored going out into the woods with my Daddy and finding leaves. To this day, I can identify trees because of that book and mostly because of him. He always took the time to teach me what he knew. Still does to this day. Leaf by leaf. 

When I'm at my most anxious, the words "bird by bird" help me to recenter. If I can frame the overwhelming thoughts that rush at me and threaten my mental wellbeing as individual problems/worries/scenarios, then I can sometimes regain control. It's important to say that it doesn't always work. Sometimes, there is no bird by bird. They all fly at me at the same time, and I am losing my breath and rocking back and forth and gasping and lost. But sometimes, it does. And that's enough. 

What are some words that help you recenter in those moments when anxiety threatens to take over?